Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come

It is interesting to read what Jessica did during her year (of living dangerously), she doesn't give any exact time frames (like when her year started or ended but you can kind of guess based on a couple of holidays and travels she writes about) but that doesn't take away from the book.

One major thing I didn't like about the ebook was that all the footnotes went directly to the notes section of the book (at the end) which was annoying as sometimes I wanted to find out the source or more details about the point and it redirected me to the end of the book. I really wish the footnotes when clicked on just popped up allowing easy reading, then being able to easily go back and continue reading.

Here are just some of the things I highlighted from the book,

I’m left sitting there with the other passengers who had been staring at us like we were a science experiment. And we are. We are my science experiment. And I think it might be going very well.

A recent study says that staring at our phones and ignoring people has become our new normal, which is probably also why we have forgotten how to be around our own species.

“People are usually very happy to answer personal questions if they feel the person asking them is genuine and kind.”

I make a few rules before each event. Go with an intention. Talk to three people, with Richard’s advice in mind, and aim to really bond or connect with one person. Psychologists also say that it takes time for shy people to warm up, so if you always leave after ten minutes, you’re never giving yourself the chance to actually succeed. Stay for at least an hour. Also, don’t arrive late. This is very hard to do for an event that you’re dragging yourself to, stopping at every distraction along the way, but when you show up in the middle of an event, the crowd feels impenetrable. Arriving five minutes early gives you a moment to ease your nerves and connect with people as they arrive.

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if the celebrations came in at under two hours? Bride down the aisle, emotional vows, champagne toasts, salmon puffs, first dance, cut the cake, eat the cake, two fast Beyoncés, one slow Adele, one big Whitney. Fin.

Why does everything have to have an end goal?

Work sometimes feels like an endless sequence of saying, “Good. Busy!” to a coworker’s obligatory “How are you?”

But self-confidence doesn’t find us: we have to push ourselves to do something hard and live through it, and then confidence will eventually follow. I’d faked confidence and, by doing so, created it. It really did feel like a feat of wizardry.

And this is the problem with Deep Talk. Not only do you have to be a bit vulnerable and a bit ballsy to ask the questions in the first place but also you’re asking whomever you’re speaking with to be the same: open up, take your hand, and embrace the depths.

Sometimes it’s good to ask Deep Questions, and sometimes it’s better just to be quiet. To live and let live. My old mode of being, which I had forgotten was sometimes so sweet. Especially to the strangers around me.

When in life do we have the time and room and space for this kind of surprise and adventure? Hardly ever. For vacations, we stay in positively reviewed hotels, eat at restaurants with excellent TripAdvisor ratings, go to the places with the most Instagram tags. There are standardized versions of every vacation spot—we leave home looking for a new adventure and return having enjoyed a near-identical vacation to everyone else we know, complete with the same photos of us jumping into the ocean from the same spot. There is no mystery. There is no enigma. There is rarely la-la land. By not knowing where I am headed, and relying on the kindness and insights of strangers instead of using social media or guidebooks during my stay, I’m hoping to find it.

But there are no do-overs in life. This is a lesson I’m still learning as an adult.

that you’re only as good as your last gig.

“Everyone who wins the trophy on their first try goes on to be arrogant and disappointed.”

He says that we have “free personality traits.” Free traits describe a behavior or quality we take on when we need it (i.e., an introvert being more social when her work requires it or a shy person acting incredibly confident as the maid of honor at her best friend’s wedding).

I know that one small action sets off so many more.

The book has encouraged me to go and get out of my shell, the worst that can happen is you embarrass yourself, but you just need to go back out and try again. And if something doesn't work for you then try to figure out why and maybe you need to do something different (or go somewhere different).