I read this e-book on kobo. Decided to read on this because everytime I asked my friend about my romantic issue, she would mention about "attachment style" which I never heard or understood before.
The trigger to read it was my girl told me firsthand that she is an avoidant. I never really understand what does it mean. A quick search up just told me that avoidant need time and space to isolate themself. I thought, oh sure, sometimes I was like that as well, so yeah I can bare with it, let's two of us go out.
But then she really isolate herself in a way that me, as an Anxious really hurts even if I know its something that avoidant normally does. So I decided to read it, and then I understand more about Avoidant, Anxioux and Secure. And how Avoidant-Anxious relationship are always paired up and ended up awfully.
I learn a lot through this book. Sadly during my reading around 2/3 on 3rd or 4th day, she decided to end our relationship. I couldn't continue reading the book at that time, I didn't became emotional as well, I just feel a void inside me and my routines.
Few days later I decided to pick up where I left, and then I keep seeing a lot of the flags or warnings from her when reading this book. I can see it clearly that she is an avoidant even if I feel "secure" with her. Mixed messages, no commitment, etc are the playbook of avoidant in a relationship.
I glad that I decided to read this book, so the break up wasn't as hurtful as the "first break up" when I knew nothing about attachment style.
I definitely recommend this book to anyone who want to learn the science behind romantic relationship. To understand what you are, what you need, and what people around you are.
